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Thank-You Notes
By Eileen McDargh

I've seen hula hoops, Father Knows Best and Dick Tracy watches vanish into the pages of history with nary a whimper. I've stood by and shed not a tear for the demise of beehive hairdos, outsized cars and sexual stereotypes. But there's one custom's passing I must protest. What has happened to that most gracious way of expressing gratitude, the thank-you note?

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	Writing Thank You Notes

I grew up thinking it was mandatory to jot a short note for any party, gift or particularly thoughtful gesture. But it was a forced gesture.

And then I really grew up. I think it was when Mother found some old letters in my grandmother's dresser drawer. Included in that musty bundle were a few thank-you notes in my childish scrawl. Could it be that such a scruffy, short expression of gratitude carried such meaning that it was worth keeping? Could it be that putting pen to paper meant more than a brief "thanks" over telephone? I decided the answer was yes.

But with the passage of time, I've begun to realize that those of us who scribble acknowledgements--whether on memo paper or gilt-edged informal card--are moving into the same category as dinosaurs and the dodo bird.

Why else would friends and colleagues make such a fuss and exclaim with astonishment, "You wrote a thank-you note!" Why would I be so pleased and amazed when one out of 20 guests takes the time to slip a message in the mailbox? Granted, I also learned long ago that true giving expects no thank-you in return. But maybe it's a rule that we should learn to bend. Aren't we more willing to go that extra mile the second time around for someone who appreciates the effort? Don't we need more simple and effective ways to connect with people in this technology-filled world?

In this hurly-burly, pressure-cooker world of ours, we need the touch of paper, the permanence of ink and the one-of-a-kind gesture that let us know we have made a difference. Let's move the thoughtful thank-you note from pending extinction to a value-added gesture that improve the life quality of both sender and recipient. Here are some tips to make thank-yous simple.

Keep a small plastic case of thank-you notes at your desk, in your briefcase, in your glove compartment or in your purse. While waiting for an appointment or a meeting, use the time to write a quick note.
It's never too late to write or receive a thank-you note. (I once received a thank-you note for a dinner party two years after the occasion.) Whenever a thank-you note arrives, it add a lift to the day.
Go beyond the obvious. Each December, one family in my neighborhood lights a tall tree with colored lights. Seeing the bright lights on a dreary winter evening brightens my spirits each night as I return home. The first year the family did this I wrote them a thank-you note. In return, I received a very warm thank-you note for my thank-you note.
Focus on the positive. Keep a mental tally of the number of thank-you notes you write. Never make a phone call or write a letter of complaint unless you've earned it by having written at five thank-yous.
Send us a thank-you note if any of these tips improve your life quality.

Eileen McDargh, CSP, CPAE, is president of McDargh Communications. She spends her days helping organizations and individuals grow human spirit and potential. She is the author of Work For a Living and Still Be Free to Live. Visit her Web site at: www.eileenmcdargh@aol.com.

BeyondWork Easy Extras

Writing Thank You Notes by Gabrielle Goodwin and David MacFarlane (Sterling Publishing Company, Inc., 1999, $7.65). This price, equivalent to 15% off the retail price, is available only through the BeyondWork link to Barnes & Noble books.
Work for a Living and Still Be Free to Live by Eileen McDargh (Book Partners, Inc., 1996, $12.78). This price, equivalent to 15% off the retail price, is available only through the BeyondWork link to Barnes & Noble books.